


Taking One for the Team

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Romance, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-19 09:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s a big deal because if you die out there then I die.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking One for the Team

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for The Last Word, Emily Prentiss' debut episode in Season 2. This is more adult Gideon and Prentiss. What if they would've been married when she arrived in Quantico? The thought came to me right before bed last night and kept me up an extra hour.

“Hi.” She walked into the apartment.

“I'm not speaking to you right now.” he said.

“Are you serious? We’re going to do this?”

“Yes we’re going to do this. No,” he shook his head. “We’re not because I'm not speaking to you at the moment.”

“Oh, don’t be childish.” She took her coat off and put it in the closet behind the door.

“You're calling me childish…after that stunt you pulled a few days ago. The box was a nice touch.”

“So you call me going after my dreams a stunt?” she asked. “Bravo Gideon.”

“Don’t make me the bad guy in this. I am not the bad guy.”

“You know what, you're right. Not speaking to me right now is just fine. In fact, I prefer it.”

She walked into the bedroom and slammed the door. Jason gripped the tumbler of scotch tight so he didn’t send it sailing into the closed door. He was angry. He was angry and when he felt that way sometimes things got broken. Control of his emotions was very important to Jason. But this woman, this woman sent him out of control. Sometimes it could be amazing and other times…things got broken.

“You know what?” she opened the door and walked out into the living room again. “I'm not done yet.”

“Somehow I knew it was coming.”

“Don’t be cute with me, Jason Gideon.”

“I don’t want to fight.” he sat on the couch, put the tumbler o the coffee table, and held up his hands. “You're never going to be wrong and I'm never going to be right and someone will say something they regret and I can't sleep on this couch.”

“I'm not that much of a walking cliché. I can sleep on the couch.”

“If I say something like you deliberately disobeyed me it’s going to make me sound like your father instead of your husband. But…you deliberately disobeyed me.”

“When we got married you knew what I wanted.” Emily sighed, sitting down on the couch beside him.

“I was never sure if it was me or the BAU.”

He whispered it but she heard him. And when Jason saw her face he knew that the thing someone might regret just came out of his mouth. If he could take it back he would've.

“I didn’t need you to get into the BAU.”

“You surely didn’t since I didn’t sign off on any paperwork authorizing this. You went over my head.”

“I did not.” Emily shook her head. “I wouldn’t.”

“You had to!” Jason exclaimed. “I never would've authorized it and you knew that. You took nothing into account but your desires.”

“Go ahead and call me a spoiled brat Jason. Tell me that I always have to have to what I want. I wanted you…I got you didn’t I?”

“Don’t make it sound like you lost the lottery.” He sipped his liquor.

“This is what I want. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal.”

“It’s a big deal because if you die out there then I die.”

“I'm not going to…”

“Don’t you say it!” he shouted, the anger evident in his voice. “I watched six people who trusted me with their lives walk into a warehouse and never walk out.”

“I'm in the FBI Jason. It’s a hazard of the job.”

“You worked at the Hoover Building.” He said. “You were safe, Emily.”

“I can't be your princess in the ivory tower. You have to let me be me.”

“Do you think for a minute that Erin Strauss doesn’t already know or suspect exactly who you are?” Jason asked. “She's up to something.”

“I didn’t put that you were my husband on my application if that’s what you're asking. Are you saying that I couldn’t make it on my own? This must be your Section Chief trying to kick you in the nuts?”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” He sighed. “I’ll just sleep on the couch.”

“Fine.” Emily stood up from the couch. “And I’ll just divorce you. Then you won't have to worry about my dying all the time.”

“If you think for a minute that I’d stop worrying, or stop loving you, then you never knew me at all.”

“Maybe I didn’t.”

“Stop it. Just stop it with the damn Tallulah Bankhead act. I can't take it and I won't anymore.”

“I'm going to bed.” Emily walked back into the bedroom. This time she closed the door but didn’t slam it. 

Jason threw the pillow up against the arm of the couch and lay down. He really needed some new furniture; this wasn’t going to be a pleasant experience. But he was angry. He was angry and not in the mood to roll over with a smile and some sweet talk. She shouldn’t be in the BAU. 

It surely wasn’t because Jason thought she couldn’t do the job. Emily Prentiss had probably been profiling since she was a little girl. But she was his wife. He wasn’t at all comfortable working with her in that capacity and having to hide that fact. More importantly, her life being in danger was a deal breaker. 

They had discussed this. It usually ended just like this, her in the bedroom and him on the couch. Still, Jason thought that Emily got the message. He didn’t want to hold her back, knew how much being a profiler would mean to her, but what about them? She knew who she was when she met him. 

She knew when she wooed him and fell in love with him. Emily came along for the ride anyway. She constantly changed the rules and Jason struggled to keep up. He was pumping the brakes as of now. 

Unfortunately her job was out of his hands. If Erin Strauss approved it there was nothing he could do. Going over her head to the Deputy Director, who was friends with them both, would bring questions Jason didn’t want to answer. Having to lie to his colleagues everyday would make him into someone he wasn’t and didn’t want to be. How was this going to end up not destroying one or both of them?

Sighing, Jason closed his eyes and put his arm over his face. He couldn’t sleep in his clothes; he’d have to do something about that. Even though he probably wouldn’t sleep much tonight he couldn’t lie there in his clothes either. He needed to finish his scotch. There might be another glass after. 

The answers to his questions weren’t coming tonight. Neither was a solution to his problem. It might never come. Emily was his wife and she was now the newest team member of the BAU. Things could get worse but Jason seriously hoped not.

000

She probably wouldn’t sleep tonight. They’d made a promise that when he was home they would never sleep apart. They’d done it too much and now they were doing it again. Emily felt a pang of guilt for going behind his back and putting in for that job. But when a spot opened in the BAU she couldn’t resist. 

It was some of the reason she joined the FBI, even if it was a pipe dream at the time. And though Emily had earned her stripes in several field offices over the past decade, she never thought she had a chance in hell of getting the job. No one in their right mind would turn it down when it came their way. She wasn’t just trying to prove a point to her husband…she wanted the job. 

What if he was right though? What if Erin Strauss was trying to hurt them or hurt his team? Emily didn’t know about it and wanted nothing to do with it. She and Jason were both professionals. They could be in the field together and not give away a thing. 

They’d been in the Bureau together and had hidden the fact that they were married for the past three years. It wasn’t always easy but his intense personal nature, which he had way before he met her, helped keep the secret. Her parents knew, so did a few select friends and his son. Aaron Hotchner didn’t know and Emily planned to keep it that way. He probably already felt she was some kind of mole. 

She didn’t want him thinking she was the boss’ wife. Maybe ending it might be better for them both. She would never stop loving Jason but she didn’t want to hurt him either. Emily wanted his dreams for him and her dreams for her. Now those visions were clashing. 

She didn’t deserve to be the one who conceded every single time. She hadn't even wanted him to return to the BAU after Boston. For just a few minutes she thought she’d lost him and it almost killed her. When she got him back Emily planned to hold on and never let go. 

But Hotch needed him. Hotch needed him so he was back on the team, leaving her again. She constantly checked for the signs…saw him sliding and pulling himself back up. Hell, at least if they were on the team together she could watch more closely. Jason wasn’t the only one deathly afraid something was going to happen to the one person he loved and he wouldn’t be able to stop it.

“To hell with that couch.” Jason walked into the dimly lit room. “There’s a spring stabbing me in my back. I think it broke the skin.”

“C'mere,” Emily sat up in bed. “Let me look.”

For a moment he just stood at the door looking at her. She was one of the most beautiful women that he’d ever seen. It wasn’t just her outward beauty, which surely stopped people in their tracks. Everything about Emily Prentiss was amazing. 

She was fluent in a multitude of languages; five at Jason’s last count. She was conversational in a handful more. Well-read and well-rounded, she fit into nearly any space you could create. Jason never thought he was easy but he was easy for Emily. 

He was enamored from the moment he saw her and ensorcelled not long after. Jason was floored when she agreed to marry him. Their relationship was as romantic as it was rocky. They were two different personalities and sometimes it showed. 

Though deep down she was shy, Emily wanted to be outgoing and social. Jason never minded being an introvert. That was hard with where Emily came from. He understood that. Understanding it didn’t always make the marriage easy.

He walked over and sat down on the bed. Being in Missouri working on a case, Jason was so glad to be home. Traveling around the country, and at times the world, wasn’t as easy for him anymore. He was older; attached to his home and his things. And leaving his wife was agonizing. It was pure agony.

“Aaron Hotchner should've taken me on that case. I could’ve helped…I worked the St. Louis office for almost three years.”

“Katya,” He put his hand over hers, which was resting on his stomach. The other was checking his back for puncture wounds. “Lets just not and say we did, OK?”

“There's definitely a tiny puncture wound in your back. There are some scratches too. I’ll get the peroxide.” She went to climb out of bed but Jason took her hand.

“I'm sure I’ll be fine.”

“That spring could be rusty…you could get lockjaw.” She reasoned.

“I don’t even remember the last case of lockjaw in the U.S.”

“Would you like to be the first in its resurgence? That’s not how you want to make history Jason. I’ll be right back.”

Emily got out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Jason found just enough energy to undress before falling back into bed. He knew he couldn’t lie face down in the pillow forever but a little while would be OK. Soon he felt her lifting his tee shirt and rubbing the cold liquid on his back.

“This is going to tear us apart isn’t it?” she whispered.

“I don’t want that to happen.”

“That doesn’t mean it won't.”

“If you want something bad enough then you fight for it.” Jason said.

“And if you love something you have to be strong enough to let it go.”

“I promised to love you and keep you in front of God…and the fascination dahlias. I take those vows seriously.”

“As do I.” Emily replied.

Jason turned over on his back. He slid over on the mattress, pulling her into his arms and into their bed. Emily put her hands on his face and pressed her forehead against his.

“We’re going to take this one day at a time.” Jason murmured. “We’ll get through it like we have everything else.”

“You're not mad at me anymore?”

“Oh I'm fucking livid. But I'm also exhausted, home after a double serial killer case, and I want to hold my wife in my arms. I just want you to be my wife tonight.”

“I am your wife.” Emily kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Katya.”

They wrapped up in their blankets and held onto each other. It wasn’t easy since they both felt like they were on a sinking ship. There were a million ways for this to go wrong and just a few to go right. Neither wanted to stand in the way of the other’s dreams. Jason just didn’t know how he could have Emily as a wife and teammate. 

It was against FBI regulations, which he might be able to get over. He didn’t know how he could deal with her being in danger everyday. Jason had already lost one wife to a violent end. He also knew what it was like to feel as if he’d lose his mind. Something would have to give and he knew that as hard as it was to face, it might have to be the best thing that happened to Jason in as long as he could remember.

***


End file.
